If you grew up in Oklahoma in the 60s and 70s, your eyes probably still light up when somebody mentions horny toads and Foreman Scotty or Black Cats and Owen Stadium. That's why Bill Moore decided to write "Memories of an Okie Boomer". After spending four decades on deadline...
... IT SEEMED time to finally write about the important stuff. Well, stuff that was important to an “active” child growing up in Norman.
Bill humorously recounts - and with only slight exaggeration - an energetic Okie boyhood of bruises, bikes, stubbed toes and Monkey’s Blood, and playing non-stop from dawn to dusk with his best friend Steve in those brutal Oklahoma summers. Short and energetic - just like he was - Memories of an Okie Boomer will make you laugh and almost certainly bring back your best childhood memories.
$9.99
(First Memories Book)
Most of my "Memories" are from when I was littler. But with brutal summer football practices approaching, now's the time to share this one...
SURVIVING TWO-A-DAYS WAS AN ABSOLUTE MIRACLE
Other than war, there is nothing more traumatic, more hellish for a young man, than Two-A-Day football practices.
Especially in Oklahoma's brutal August heat, like when I played at Norman High School from 1971-1973.
Back then, as a tiny Tiger, my two-a-day breakfast consisted of a big glass of Gatorade, a piece of dry toast, and two Allerest tablets.
Anything more and it would have come up during wind sprints. Anything less and I would have died of heat stroke or hay fever.
I can still remember every practice starting with calisthenics, coaches screaming and whistles blasting, followed by position drills.
Dean Blevins and our other quarterbacks would put on their pink dresses and go throw to the ends, before focusing their efforts on flirting with cheerleaders.
The rest of us backs, linebackers and linemen would run drill after drill, smashing into each other, jumping over tackling dummies, slamming into the steel sled and driving it back, back, back until, finally, the coach sitting on the sled would blow his whistle.
The drills were repeated over and over, usually until somebody puked, which signalled that the coaches had succeeded, and they should start running plays.
If you were as "scrub" like me (I wasn't a starter until my senior year), you were on defense for an hour, facing wave after wave of first-, second- and third-team offenses.
It was like Normandy.
Then the scrubs would switch sides and try to run offensive plays against the first-team defense, which consisted of enormous mutant werewolves who could eat a small running back like me in one gulp.
After about an hour of this, another couple of scrubs would have died of heat stroke or after being hit "right in the jewel box". Defensive coaches loved it when guys got hit in the jewel box.
When players started dropping like flies because of dehydration and heat stroke, coaches would begrudgingly scream "water break".
Dean and the cheerleaders would be whisked off to the "Tiger Lounge" grandstand. The rest of us would fight for the awful water flowing out of the irrigation hoses. Seniors first. Juniors second. Any surviving sophomores last.
Hose water was hot and tasted like a dead lizard, but you gulped down as much as you could in maybe five seconds, before being pushed away by a smiling coach.
Coaches did this to make you tough. Or because some of them were sadists. It sure was a different era.
When you finally started to feel like a human, the whistle would sound and the cheerleaders would blow kisses to Dean.
The second half of most practices was when coaches really started having fun, "separating the men from the boys", determining who "had to squat to pee".
We’d scrimmage until vultures were circling overhead. It was brutal.
Then, after two hours of murderous heat and pain, would come wind sprints. Up and down Harve Collins Field. For what seemed like an eternity.
Your lungs would burn as you fought for fresh air, which did not exist, because in August, there is no fresh air in Oklahoma.
Even though I was little, I was very quick. So I made it a point to try and outrun the stars, especially Blevins.
But Dean would always beat me. When coaches timed us in the 40, if I ran a 4.65, Dean would run a 4.6. All I'd see was his pink skirt flapping in the wind.
After most two-a-day practices, the NHS locker room looked like a bomb had gone off. Bodies were sprawled everywhere in the darkness.
Some were naked and lying motionless on the cool cement floor. They were the lucky ones.
Others, like me, were crumpled on the benches, so dehydrated and concussed they couldn't even remove their gear.
We’d sit there, steam rising from our shoulder pads, as we tried to suck the sweat from undershirts that smelled of ammonia and hadn't been washed in weeks.
Slowly, over maybe half an hour, everyone would drag themselves into the shower, then put on a filthy, dry T-shirt and shorts, and limp to their cars, which were hot as blast ovens inside.
Dean and his cheerleaders would be whisked away in a limo. The rest of us would go home, collapse for a few hours, then come back to do it all over again.
THIS is how you were moulded into 4-A Boomer Conference Norman Tigers in the early Seventies.
Looking back, I have no idea how we survived. Or whatever happened to Dean's pink dress.
(Editor's note: Dean didn't really wear a pink dress ─ just a colored jersey so defensive players like me wouldn’t smash him. I hated that, but I knew it made sense. With Dean as our QB, we thought we had a chance to win State. He was that good. )
(Editor's note: Excerpt from Book 1--Memories of an Okie Boomer; Growing up in Norman in the 60s and 70s. Available on Amazon)
#Oklahomahumor #simplertimes #growingup #normanstories #footballstories #footballhumor #soonerfootball @Owenstadium #hayfever #brutalsummerheat #oklahomasummer #twoadayfootballpractice #heatstroke #hayfever #concussion #coachesscreaming #windsprints #deanblevins #cheerleaders #normanhighfootball #normantigers
(First "Memories" Book)
I’d been overseas a long spell, working in journalism and public relations, when the Y2K computer bug threatened to collapse the world’s economy.
It made me think about my heritage of blacksmiths and firemen, of cowboys and Indians ─ people who worked with their bare hands.
In the photo, that’s my strapping great-grandfather, Charles L. Moore, and his son, my grandpa, George Henry.
Great Grandpa Charles was full blood Sac and Fox Indian by birth, and Potawatomi by marriage to full blood Rosa Lee Darling.
They both went to the Haskell Indian School in Lawrence, Kansas, where Great Gramps learned the blacksmith trade...
Oklahomahumor #simplertimes #growingup #normanstories #blacksmith #indian #grampastories #firemen #potawatomi #sacandfox #haskellindianschool #greatgrampa
(First Memories Book)
As a public service to my fellow Okie Boomers, I offer this useful list of Okie-isms, mainly contributed by my Mom and my Dad's cousin, Sonny.
Hootis (n): \who-tiss\
Pretty much anything.
My Dad, the shade tree mechanic, and Sonny often had this conversation while Dad was halfway under the car and his cousin was "supervising", i.e., looking down into the engine, drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and offering helpful suggestions.
"Gene-o, you're messing up if you don't take off that hootis before you loosen the alternator belt. I'm just telling you."
To which my exasperated Dad would respond: "BANG (sound of his wrench slipping off a nut and bloodying his knuckles), followed by, "Take your #%&*# damn hootis and #%#&".
At which point they would break for a…
Colorado Kool-aid (n): call\or\add\oh\koo\laid. The beverage of choice (Coors beer) that my Dad drank by the tanker load…
Oklahomahumor #simplertimes #growingup #normanstories #funnydefinitions #madeupwords #funnycussing #coloradokoolaid #coorsbeer #shadetreemechanic
(First Memories Book)
We had a mimosa tree in our front yard on Nebraska Street, and half a dozen in the back. Every summer, the locusts would sing their heads off as they tried to suck them dry.
My next door neighbour, Eddie, and collected the old locust husks from the mimosa trees and fed them to Lady Dog, my beagle. She thought they were better’n pork rinds.
We’d catch live locusts mainly at dusk. You had to be sneaky because they had those giant eyeballs.
I liked to grab their wings between my thumb and finger. Eddie would grab them with his whole hand, which I thought was insane.
I fully expected a locust to kill him dead one day, jamming its sucker spike right into a major artery and snorking out all his blood. It never happened, but I bet it could’ve...
Oklahomahumor #simplertimes #growingup #normanstories #playingwithlocusts #beaglestories #locustsuckerspike #killyoudead
(First Memories Book)
I was probably eight or nine years old when we made our first "expedition" all the way from Norman to Lincoln Park Zoo in Oklahoma City.
If memory serves, it was a 9,000 mile journey that took about three months.I was either with Steve, or my cousins, or all of them, and possibly a sister or two.
What's clear is that we were all psyched.
For years, we had been watching Bob Jenni doing guest spots on Foreman Scotty.
Bob was always handling snakes, Gila Monsters and other critters that would kill you dead if you messed up.
I was always glued to the TV when Bob was on, quietly rooting for the snake to get loose and maybe bite somebody, just a little bit…
Oklahomahumor #simplertimes #growingup #normanstories #tripstothezoo #Oklahomacityzoo #bobjenni #foremanscotty #lincolnparkzoo #killyoudead #knucklehead
(First Memories Book)
Somewhere along the way, my Dad found an old, lever-action Daisy BB gun.
It didn't have much power. Even so, I'm sure Dad had trepidation about giving it to me.
But it was free, and free was good back in the day.
So, after I promised to never shoot at birds or dogs or kids or anything glass, he gave me the BB gun.
And pretty soon, of course, I started shooting at birds and dogs and kids and glass...
#Oklahomahumor #simplertimes #growingup #normanstories #boysandbbguns #badidea #knucklehead #freewasgood #freeisgood #nevershootbirds #bbguns
(First Memories Book)
I died and went to heaven when the Ryans, our long-time family friends, bought a working farm in Tucson.
Even though vacations were only for “rich people”, somehow that summer we had enough money to go see their new Ponderosa.
Partner, from dawn to dark thirty every single day, I was doing full-on, sho'nuff, cowboy stuff, and having the time of my young life.
Early every morning, after a massive breakfast featuring a thousand pounds of bacon and a million pancakes, we were off to do chores.
Our first jobs were in a huge barn, packed with saddles and horses and pitchforks and dust and hay and lots of ropes…
#Oklahomahumor #simplertimes #growingup #normanstories #playingcowboy #kidrodeo #ropingcattle #Tucsonranch #mostfuninthewholewideworld #smelllikeahorse #ropingcalves #cowboyhumor
(First Memories Book)
Okie moms knew way more than doctors.
Bad tummy? Dry toast and flat 7 Up if you were puking. Chicken noodle soup with Saltine crackers if not.
Fever? A cool, wet washrag draped over your forehead. An aspirin hidden in a spoonful of grape jelly. And a mug of honey & lemon juice in hot water.
Stubbed toe or other pavement-related wounds? Magical and painless Mercurochrome (Monkey's Blood) if the wound wasn't too bad, but the hideous, stinging Merthiolate if it was.
Stings and bites? A touch of Campho-Phenique for mosquito bites, and a dab of bluing for nasty bee stings and ant bites...
#Oklahomahumor #simplertimes #growingup #normanstories #homemaderemedies #momedicine #mercurochrome #monkeysblood #scrapedknee #campho-phenique #mosquitobitemedicine #sickasachild #stubbedtoe #merthiolate #burningmedicine #makeyoucry #beesting
(First Memories Book)
If you grew up in Oklahoma in the Sixties, you HAD to watch the Foreman Scotty Show every day after school. It was the law.
The half-hour show featured Foreman Scotty, Xavier T. Willard, Cannonball and a whole mess of screaming kids.
If you were lucky, one day you got to be in the WKY-TV studio audience when the show was broadcast live.
If you were really, really lucky, and it was your birthday, you got to be on the show AND ride Woody.
I was exactly that lucky on my fifth birthday ─ March 15, 1961 (100% authentic invitation above).
It was the greatest day of my life, then the worst, then the greatest again, all because of Foreman Scotty himself…
#Oklahomahumor #simplertimes #growingup #normanstories #bestdayever #mostfunever #circle4ranch #tvcowboy #ridingwoody #littleboybirthday #goingtothecity #wkytv #xaviertwillard #cannonball #foremanscottyshow #dannywilliams
(First Memories Book)
It's been 60 years or so, but I still remember that ginormous Tennessee Walking Horse.
We were at my Aunt Mackie's house on West 24th, back when that was wayyy out of town. I was maybe four or five, and probably about three feet tall.
The Tennessee Walker was the biggest thing I had ever seen. It probably stood 17 hands tall but looked as big as an elephant.
I remember having to look straight up to see my cousins in the saddle. I was awestruck. And then, it got even better. Somehow, I found myself in the saddle. Like John Wayne or something.
How I got there, I will never know. Maybe a helicopter was involved…
#Oklahomahumor #simplertimes #growingup #normanstories #horseriding #tennessewalker #gianthorse #likejohnwayneorsomething #cowboyhumor #learningtorideahorse #tennesseewalkerstories #inthesaddle #likejohnwayneorsomething
Just finished reading your book. I was laughing out loud so much my husband asked what was I reading! And I kept thinking, “Bless his mom's heart”! My dad also read it and said he found it delightful. Looking forward to the second book. Thanks for the entertainment!
Fantastic!
Fun and great read!!! If you grew up in the 60 and 70 you will be able to relate to many fun stories the author tells!
Bill Moore is a very talented and entertaining author with a great sense of humor! I highly recommend this book!!!
Couldn’t put it down. A total joy to read.
The author was a classmate of mine in high school, and is still a great Facebook friend. I knew this book would be awesome b/c of the way Bill writes his posts on Facebook telling his friends of his life in New Zealand. This book touched my heart in soo many ways. Bills writing is so descriptive, that in your mind you see what he’s writing about or transports you to the place. I couldn’t put it down. Bill, thank you for letting me go back to my days of innocence as a child in Norman, Oklahoma.
Having known the author all our lives I expected nothing less than stellar from him and he does not disappoint. It brought smiles and loud guffaws as I tripped down memory lane with him. It was so much more personal to me as I knew the characters in the book but all will enjoy reminiscing about that magical time in Norman . Give it a read you wont be disappointed!
I think anyone who grew up around the 1960s will enjoy this trip down memory lane!
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Diana H. –
As a lifetime resident of Norman, OK this book was so much fun. People I knew, places I was familiar with and reminders of a great childhood were on every page. Anyone from Norman would love this book but anyone from anywhere would enjoy the reminders of adventures during childhood. Loved it!
Richard J. Leaumont –
Wonderful book about a boys life in Oklahoma but paints humorous and sentimental picture that will invoke memories no matter what state you came from
Amazon Customer –
Wonderful stories! A trip down memory lane. So much fun to read! Wonderful writing! Thanks!
Zachary M Weigel –
Great read, written by a fellow Okie. I grew up in Norman in the 1980's and 90's. This book brought me back to my childhood. Funny story after story. Highly recommend.
Russell B. Cooper –
I brought your book along to a little getaway this week and it was awesome.I have to thank you for such an awesome little journey back to Norman of yesteryear. I am not much of a reader so your short stories in this book were just what I needed, and they were spot on memories for all of us who grew up during this time. I would recommend this book to anyone who grew up in Norman in the 60s-70s. In fact, I would bet this book holds true for most people in the Midwest, just the names and places may have been different. Again, Thanks for a great read!
Marilyn –
I loved Bill's book! I also grew up in Norman and really enjoyed the memories (bought an extra book to share as a gift). Looking forward to reading Bill's next book with more memories of growing up in Norman.
ProudDad –
I think anyone who grew up around the 1960s will enjoy this trip down memory lane!
Debra –
Having known the author all our lives I expected nothing less than stellar from him and he does not disappoint. It brought smiles and loud guffaws as I tripped down memory lane with him. It was so much more personal to me as I knew the characters in the book but all will enjoy reminiscing about that magical time in Norman . Give it a read you wont be disappointed!
Susan B. –
Couldn’t put it down. A total joy to read.
The author was a classmate of mine in high school, and is still a great Facebook friend. I knew this book would be awesome b/c of the way Bill writes his posts on Facebook telling his friends of his life in New Zealand. This book touched my heart in soo many ways. Bills writing is so descriptive, that in your mind you see what he’s writing about or transports you to the place. I couldn’t put it down. Bill, thank you for letting me go back to my days of innocence as a child in Norman, Oklahoma.
Tktjtj –
Fantastic!
Fun and great read!!! If you grew up in the 60 and 70 you will be able to relate to many fun stories the author tells!
Bill Moore is a very talented and entertaining author with a great sense of humor! I highly recommend this book!!!
Sudie (store manager) –
Just finished reading your book. I was laughing out loud so much my husband asked what was I reading! And I kept thinking, “Bless his mom's heart”! My dad also read it and said he found it delightful. Looking forward to the second book. Thanks for the entertainment!